random post emo rant hello feb

I want to password protect some blog posts but it's impossible with Blogger without using some time-consuming Javascripts.
Feel like moving to Wordpress because of this. Grr. But I prefer Blogger, so um, yeah moving of blogs not happening.

My neighbour was so nice as to give us some goodies for CNY.
Too bad I was asleep when they did, if not I would have received some redpackets, HEHE.
Jk. But nice people, really.
(Despite them getting a new piano and their daughter would play for hours practicing  the same song which would get really annoying over time.)

I've also realized as much as I like my solitude, it's not healthy for me.
Me being alone = me at too much peace = me thinks too much = me mentally fucked.
If me not alone = me not at much peace = me distracted = me mentally healthy.
Perhaps it's the no-life-only-child syndrome thing.
I envy people who have siblings. I really do.
Even if they don't talk much or whatever.
Because atleast you'll always have someone around, even if you're not on good terms yknow?
And sometimes too much attention on you by parents gets so tiring. So so tiring of having to always make them happy and content.
But in the end, they are the only support you got. Only direct family. I've got literally nothing if I decide to just run off or something right? And they'll be alone too.
I only want them to be happy. Hence I never say how I really feel.
It always scares me to think of how they'll only have me to rely on in the future. I'm already tired.
I never get to be myself nor do the things I want. But I'm fine with it. So fine with it till sometimes I wonder who I really am anymore.

Wow such an emo post but oh welllll.